Are we human?
by KathBell
Summary: People made memorials around the hospital, in the elevator he had been found in, in the supply closet he and Reed had been shot in, and  in the conference room he had been treated in. Meredith wasn't quite sure why they did that. MerAlexCristinaFriendship


_Written for Mily and Half-bloodGoddess (whatever it is -.-)_

_A/N: My friend is going to kill me for writing a death-fic. Seriously, she calls me dark and twisty and so far (until now) I haven't killed off a single member of Grey's anatomy, I can't imagine what she would be like after reading this... My other friend will be happy and smiling though... She's strange...And evil... By the way, this is what SHOULD NOT and WILL NOT happen in the series. _

_Warning: Character death.  
Song: Human by The Killers. This song does not fit the story unless you listen to the acoustic covers on youtube, otherwise you'd think it was a crazy song to put into this.  
Pairings: MerDer. Mentions of Alex/Lexie, Alex/Izzie and Alex/Ava. Mentions of Cristina/Owen and Cristina/Burke. Mentions of Lexie/Mark._

_Disclaimer: Own nothing! _

I did my best to notice  
When the call came down the line

"Lexie! Thank God you're okay..." Meredith sighed in relief as she heard her sisters scared voice greet her through the phone. Then she realised her sister was crying. "Lexie? Is Mark okay?"

"Yeah... He... Alex." Meredith's blood ran cold as she realised why her sister was crying. She didn't want to believe it. It couldn't be true. She breathed in and out slowly and calmed herself down.

"Lexie, what happened to Alex?"

"He... He was shot... Me and Mark found him and... Oh God, Meredith, it was bad, really, bad." Meredith closed her eyes and leaned back in the recliner. Her hands found Derek's and she bit her lip.

"Is he alive?"

"Yeah... But he crashed and they... They don't know if he will wake up and... It is really bad..." Meredith found a tear slipping out of her eye but she didn't bother to wipe it away.

"Where are you?"

"Seattle Pres... ICU... Meredith, he sounded so scared... he was screaming... Meredith, he has to be okay..."

"He will be," Meredith reassured, but she wasn't sure if she was reassuring herself or her sister. "Alex, he is a fighter, he fights – literally, he was a wrestler," Meredith smiled slightly when she heard a sound that could be described as either a giggle or a sob. It was better than nothing. "Lexie, I've known Alex for nearly seven years, he's stubborn and he will defy the odds. He wouldn't give up without a fight. Are you in his room now?"

"Yes."

"Okay, I'm going to get Mark to stay with Derek-" She regretted it the second she said it.

"What? Derek? What... Oh No..."

"LEXIE!" Her yell would have woken Derek if he hadn't of been sedated. "Calm down. He's okay. Cristina operated on him with Avery-" She didn't mention the part about it being at gunpoint, or the part about Owen being shot, or the flat lining and dead-babies. "He's okay, just sedated. Is Mark here?"

"Yeah, he's outside with Teddy."

"Okay, pass me onto him." Meredith held her breath as she heard what was presumably Lexie leaving a room and talking to someone.

Up to the platform of surrender  
I was brought but I was kind

"Meredith?" Mark answered as he sent Lexie a small smile.

"Mark, erm, can you come downstairs please?"

"Are you okay?" He suddenly forgot about Karev and Lexie, and he focused his attention on his best friends wife (post-it wife?).

"I'm okay." He could tell from her voice that she was lying. "Derek..." Mark heard the tone of voice and held his breath. He fought back tears at the thought of Derek being dead. Derek couldn't be dead. It wasn't possible. "He's okay, he was shot but he is okay. I need to get up there and see Alex which is why you need to come down here and watch Derek. Can you do that?"

"Yeah, on my way."

And sometimes I get nervous  
When I see an open door

Meredith stood at the glass door and watched Alex. He was asleep. She wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing because she knew nothing about his condition. She was nervous. She didn't know what to do. She had been here before but she hadn't known who that person was then, and her reaction to finding out that it was her best friend was frightful to say the least.

Now, here she was again, in a different hospital but in similar circumstances. One of her friends – her best friends – was in trouble. "Oh God.." She whispered, ignoring the irony – that could be dealt with when no one was fighting for their life. She bit her lip and pushed aside her nervousness before stepping into Alex's room.

Close your eyes, clear your heart  
Cut the cord

"Mer..." Her head shot up from where she had been resting it. "How is he?"

"Same as always Cristina." Cristina nodded at her best friends answer and let her eyes drift towards Alex. He was still to pale to be called Evil spawn so she stuck with Alex for the time being. She walked over to the empty side of the bed and placed her hand on his. It was still too cold to be called the hand of the devil. Meredith noticed that Cristina was having a friends with evil spawn moment and exited the room. Cristina sat in the seat and looked at the monitors.

Steady. Calm. No shaking, no change. Just how it should be – but it wasn't. He still refused to wake up properly, and when he did he was barely lucid and unable to realize he had a vent in his throat. She wondered when they would take it out. She hoped it would be soon.

My sign is vital. My hands are cold.

And I'm on my knee's, looking for the answer.

"Alex?" Her voice sounded like a whisper but he recognised it. He swallowed dryly and tried to figure out where he was. He recognised the smell, the sound of monitors, even the feel of the blankets from his many nights spent in hospital rooms with Izzie. "Alex, can you open your eyes?" The voice sounded hopeful and scared at the same time which worried him. Why would she be scared?

"Mer?" His voice shocked him beyond belief. It was so quiet and hoarse. "Where.. What?"

"You've been shot Alex. You're at Seattle Presbyterian." Meredith smiled in relief. He was awake, properly awake. She felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders, as clichéd as that sounds. She continued to smile as Alex closed his eyes again and moved his head away from her.

"Can't... breathe..." Her eyes widened and what could only be described as fear took over her at Alex's words. She pressed the call button for a nurse and looked at the monitor. There wasn't much she could do as her hands wouldn't stop shaking.

Nurses entered the room and Meredith told them what was happening. They paged Altman and someone else who's names she couldn't recognise. Alex's laboured breathing was getting louder now, he was gasping for air and she knew that that was not good. She stood in the corner of the room as doctors surrounded his bed – she could only watch on in fear. She felt her heart momentarily stop beating when Alex flat lined.

Pay my respects to grace and virtue  
Send my condolences to good

His mind drifted, to where he was not sure. He remembered Izzie, smiling and happy before all of the cancer, or the dead fiancé's and best friends. He remembered Ava, the first woman he had been with to make him cry. He wanted to go back to that place – the place where George and Izzie where alive, cancer free, and not jumping in front of buses – the place that seemed safe compared to the shattered world he now lived in. Alex slowly and carefully opened his eyes and looked at someone he didn't expect to see. Then he realised with a great deal of regret that this was it.

He took two steps out of the elevator.

Hear my regards to soul and romance  
They always did the best they could

The next few days were a blur to them all. Meredith had been rescued from Alex's room by Mark and taken to Derek's room in which he had comforted her to the best of his abilities while she cried. She called Aaron the next day (which wasn't exactly a long time, just three hours) and then Izzie. Izzie – surprisingly – hadn't answered, which worried Meredith slightly but at the point in time it was Alex she was focused on, not Izzie. She then sat at Alex's side.

"I.. I was asleep and then... What?" Cristina sounded sad, worried and confused. Emotions that are rarely ever seen coming from Cristina by anyone other than Meredith or Owen (and at one point, Burke). Meredith looked up with bloodshot eyes and shook her head at her friend standing in the doorway. "How bad?"

"They... They think the lack of oxygen has damaged his brain... He... There was a rib that was cracked and it had a fragment of bullet in it, and when he moved over it broke. They bullet went into his lung and then into his spine. Even if his brain is okay, he'll probably be paralysed." Cristina inhaled a shaky breath and sat down on the nearest chair, her eyes still wide from the information.

"Has... Has someone called his brother?" She asked. Meredith nodded. "Izzie?"

"She didn't answer. I left 30 messages." It was close to the truth – she had left 34 voice mails and 5 texts, not to mention the times where she didn't leave a message. It was obvious that Izzie was either ignoring them – which was unlikely – or she had changed her number.

"Oh..."

And so long to devotion  
You taught me everything I know

"Brain dead."

"What?" _That was Aaron_, Meredith thought as she sat in what could only be described as a confused gaze.

"We're sorry..." It was the clichéd and commonly used doctors phrase she heard next, although she was quite sure that she must have zoned out for half of the conversation, and quite frankly, she would not be surprised if she had.

"We're going to take him off life support." She felt her eyes close. This couldn't be happening again. Why did it have to be Alex who died? Hadn't he had enough bad luck already? She felt the familiar sense of hate build up in her. Why did Gary Clarke have to do this? Why did he have to destroy everything and everyone she loved. Derek, Lexie, Cristina, Alex, even Mark! Why the hell did he have to go and do this to them? She felt like screaming, crying, kicking something or destroying something. Anything to get rid of this unnatural anger she felt inside of her.

Wave goodbye, wish me well  
You've gotta let me go

Cristina was sad, and she hated it. She hadn't felt like this after George had died – and she had actually liked George – or after she had been told about Izzie having cancer, so she was utterly confused about why she was feeling like this now just because Alex, evil spawn, annoying, quick-witted Alex, had been declared brain dead.

"Donate organs?" She hadn't been listening to the rest of the conversation between the chief and Alex's siblings but her head snapped up at this part.

"He'd want that." All eyes – with the exception of Ambers – were now on her but she was used to being the centre of attention and it had never bothered her before.

"He would." Meredith added. "He'd want to save people... He saved tons of people, Izzie, Ava..."

Aaron nodded, although he didn't know who Ava was and he was still in shock of what had happened. "Yeah.."

Will your system be alright  
When you dream of home tonight

Amber had cried when they entered the room. Aaron had gasped quietly. Meredith and Cristina were used to it by now and they had entered looking grim. Lexie had looked like she was having a breakdown – they all knew that she was. Mark was standing by her, being a friend instead of her boyfriend due to the circumstances. Altman was there, so was Owen, Arizona and Callie. Meredith was biting her lip and standing at Alex's side, her hand on his, with Cristina next to her with her hand on Meredith's. It seemed odd to people who hadn't known them for years. Aaron was sat the top of the bed, his arm on his brother's shoulder, while Amber had Alex's hand in hers. Callie and Arizona stood at the back of the room, holding hands discreetly and looking at Alex. Owen was standing behind Cristina, but eyeing Teddy in an apologetic way.

There is no message were receiving  
Let me know is your heart still beating

The flat line filled the room and most people closed their eyes. Amber cried harder, Meredith let a few tears escape her eyes. Cristina looked at Alex with wide eyes, as if she couldn't believe that this was happening. Owen looked at the ground, as did Teddy, Callie and Arizona. Aaron cried silently. Most of the medical personnel – with the exception of Meredith and Cristina – left the room to give the family privacy in their grief.

My sign is vital, my hands are cold  
And I'm on my knees looking for the answer

The funeral went by, the sorry looks and the countless condolences went by. It was just the same as when George had died, but this time it was different. People had set up a small memorial in the elevator he had been found in, and in the supply closet he and Reed had been shot in, and in the conference room where he had been treated. No one took them down, not like last time where that cleaner had cleaned out George's cubby.

Meredith never cleaned out his room. She knew it was unreasonable, but she didn't. She also left his room in the plans for the new house. When she had made it clear that she wanted it left there Derek had given her that worried look and asked her why. She had answered simply, "He deserved a room." and nothing else had been said on the subject since.

She had named her first child with Derek after him, Alexander Tom Shepherd.

–

Cristina had moved on with Owen, and they wed only six months after the shooting. Nobody said that it was rushed, nobody mentioned anything about Teddy – who was there and dating some lawyer. They moved out, into a bigger house in which they could raise a family. Meredith had mentioned that it was very bright and shiny of her, and very un-Cristina, she had simply replied back "You're rubbing off on me. I feel sick." and laughed.

Are we human?


End file.
